


First Time

by sstwins



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:00:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sstwins/pseuds/sstwins
Summary: “Let’s have sex.”“What?” Eiji put his book down on his knees, staring over at Ash. “You are joking,” he said a second later, laughing a little as if trying to convince himself.Ash swallowed and shook his head. “No, I’m not."Ash and Eiji try to have sex for the first time.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 1
Kudos: 114





	First Time

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing something truly smutty o.o  
> also uhhh hello we love repressed trauma. epic kinnie moment between me and ash

“Let’s have sex.”

“What?” Eiji put his book down on his knees, staring over at Ash. “You are joking,” he said a second later, laughing a little as if trying to convince himself.

Ash swallowed and shook his head. “No, I’m not. And it’s only if you want to.” He would never want to force Eiji to do something he didn’t want to do. He knew firsthand what that felt like.

“I would be fine with it if you are, but Ash…” Eiji looked at him with so much pity in his eyes that it almost made Ash regret his decision. He knew that Eiji wouldn’t ever think poorly of him, but at that moment it certainly seemed otherwise. He could tell that Eiji was trying to read him just as much as he was examining the other boy. What secrets was he finding behind Ash’s eyes? “Alright,” EIji finally said, surprising Ash as he put his book aside and stood up. “If you want to have sex then I do too.”

“Alright then.” Despite being the one to initiate things, Ash couldn’t stop a rush of nervousness. He’d never really had sex before for his own pleasure. He wasn’t even sure if he could. But sleeping in the same room as Eiji for the past few weeks had been driving him crazy, and he figured that it was worth trying. “We can do it here,” he said, patting his bed.

Eiji walked over and sat down next to him, his hands folded politely in his lap. Ash sat up, his arms wrapped over his knees, and the two sat there for a few moments. Then Ash cracked a smile, and Eiji did too. It was so ridiculous. Neither of them wanted to make the first move. “If we don’t hurry up, we’ll be here all night,” Ash laughed, and Eiji chuckled in response. Then he turned to Ash with a very serious expression.

“Ash, I do not want to do anything to hurt you. You will stop me if I do anything bad?”

Ash leaned over at that, wrapping his fingers around the other boy’s. “I know you would never do anything bad. I’m not worried.”

“And I’m sure you know, but I have never… had sex before.”

That made Ash laugh. He should have known. “It’s fine, Eiji. I’ll help you.” He couldn’t help the flash of guilt at the thought of taking Eiji’s virginity, but he had said it was fine. He was a willing partner. “Have you ever fingered yourself?”

Eiji turned very pale at that, which gave Ash his answer. “Then I’ll be on the receiving end.” Ash was fairly confident in his abilities to play bottom, but he didn’t want to force Eiji into penetration on his first sexual encounter.

“Ah, are you sure?” EIji pressed his hands together, and Ash could tell he was thinking about the things Ash had been made to do. Leaning in, Ash pushed the nervous look off his face with a gentle kiss that Eiji relaxed into after a few seconds. They’d kissed quite a few times, so Ash was relying on that for a sense of familiarity during this strange encounter.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Ash pushed away from Eiji and shrugged his shirt off, tossing it into a crumpled pile on the floor. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been shirtless around Eiji before, but clearly the other boy was taking this time to really familiarize himself with Ash’s body, as evident by his lengthy stare. Ash’s body was long and lean, but scarred, and Eiji leaned over and brushed his fingers against a particularly nasty one. He didn’t say anything, but there was no need for words. Ash could feel the care and gentle concern wafting off of him.

He wasn’t used to having someone so lovingly inspect his body. Normally, people only viewed Ash’s form posessively, and there was only so much of this nice treatment that he could take. Finally, Ash pushed Eiji’s hand away and plucked at his shirt. “Your turn,” he said teasingly.

Eiji sat back, lifting his shirt up. It was far from Ash’s fluid motion, but underneath it he was beautiful. Ash understood Eiji’s stare more now. It was one thing to steal half glances at the other boy after a shower, but now he had full permission to explore Eiji’s body. Eiji was slim yet secretly muscular, which made sense given that he was an athlete. Ash couldn’t stop himself from running his fingers across his chest, which made Eiji shiver a little. Clearly, he wasn’t used to being touched.

“Do you want me to take it all off?” Eiji shifted a little on the bed, and Ash stilled his hands.

There was a temporary flash of worry. Was he being too possessive with his grip, his demands? “No, this is fine,” Ash said quickly, though whether he was reassuring himself or Eiji was anyone’s guess. He didn’t want to push Eiji too far, didn’t want to put him in a position where he felt like Ash was using him. The thought of it made him sick. Maybe it was time to get down to business.

“Put your fingers in my mouth.” Noticing Eiji’s immediate nervous stare at Ash’s lips, Ash smiled to try and put him at ease. “Just to get them wet. It’s okay. I promise I won’t bite.”

Eiji laughed a little at that. Ash leaned back then, parting his lips to give Eiji easy access. He could have cursed himself for not keeping any lube in the apartment, but he hadn’t ever expected to  _ want _ to have sex here.

The Japanese boy’s slim fingers reached gently for Ash’s lips, far more tentative than the men who had done so before him. Softly, he pushed in one finger, and at Ash’s nod, joined it with another.

Without even thinking about it, Ash let out a lewd moan as soon as Eiji started working his fingers in his mouth. But it felt so immediately wrong that he stopped as soon as he’d started, feeling both ashamed with himself for making the noise and ashamed with himself for stopping. The air filled with the quiet, wet sounds of Eiji stirring Ash’s limp tongue, before he pulled his hand away.

“Sorry,” Eiji muttered, reflexively wiping his hand on his pants. He seemed more embarrassed now then when they’d started. Ash could curse himself. He’d known that Eiji was inexperienced, and he wasn’t making things any easier for him. Leaning over, Ash grabbed Eiji’s hand and brought it to his mouth, darting his tongue out and across the boy’s long fingers. This was better now, with him in control of the action. And he couldn’t help but notice the way a particular swirl of his tongue would make Eiji shudder softly. That was better. Ash wanted this to be good for him, after all.

After a few moments, Ash pulled himself away and positioned himself back on the bed. “Don’t wipe them off,” he cautioned, as he saw Eiji reaching for his slacks. It was uncomfortable to have wet fingers, which he remembered from his earlier times. 

He really should have done this before now, but it was time to just get it over with. Bending down, Ash pulled his pants and boxers off, knowing that Eiji’s eyes would soon be gently exploring him. He took some deep breaths to steel himself before looking back up at Eiji, who was, indeed, staring directly at him. Though whether that was from concern, curiosity, or desire, Ash couldn’t tell. “Now take your fingers and put them here.” Ash guided Eiji’s hand to his ass, eager to get this examination period over with as quickly as possible. “And push.”

“Alright.” It was almost laughable how nervous Eiji looked, when most men Ash knew would have no difficulty shoving their dicks in him dry. Compared to that, this was incredibly tame, though he didn’t want to tell Eiji that. He needed to do something to set him at ease, so Ash sat up and kissed the boy deeply, even daring to nip gently at his lips. They hadn’t kissed with tongue since the first time, but Eiji seemed willing, and Ash plunged his tongue into his mouth. Eiji’s free hand grew more daring, wrapping itself around Ash’s back, and Ash used the moment of pleasure to take Eiji’s other hand and guide it into himself, just one finger for now.

Eiji pulled away after that, brow furrowed with an adorable sense of focus. Ash lay back again, pressing himself against Eiji to guide the boy in deeper. EIji was innocent but not stupid, and he started moving his finger back and forth inside of Ash.

He would get hard soon enough, he usually did. Regardless of whether Eiji knew how to angle to hit his prostate, Ash could pretty reliably force himself to get turned on. Ash closed his eyes to try and relax and open himself up more, but immediately he knew it was a mistake. Without being able to watch Eiji touching him, the feeling of someone inside of him moving so gently was making him sick, and his half grown hardness immediately wilted again. Eiji paused, and Ash opened his eyes.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, so lovingly that it made Ash feel even worse.

“No, Eiji, it’s nothing you did. You’re doing great.” Ash forced a smile, but the pressure of Eiji inside of him was stressing him out more than he thought it would. It was such a silly thing to be upset about getting fingered, but in that moment Ash wished that Eiji would stop being gentle, just take off his clothes and thrust into him. Some of his worst memories were from when people took their time and tried to coax Ash’s body into feeling good. He hadn’t realized that there would be pain attached to that.

“I think I will stop.” Eiji pulled his finger out, making Ash’s face burn.

“No, Eiji, I told you it’s okay.”

EIji was already wiping his hand on his pants, and he shook his head. “I told you to stop me if I did anything bad. I will not do anything to hurt you, Ash.”

The tenderness was too much. Ash felt his eyes begin to burn, which was completely uncalled for. He never cried during sex. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, as Eiji picked up the shirt that he’d gently laid on the floor.

“It is fine, Ash. We can take our time.” Eiji pulled the shirt on, and fixed Ash with a kind smile. “I think you think there is a rush. But you never need to rush things with me.”

In that moment, Ash felt very small. As if he was a child that Eiji was taking care of. “Okay,” he said quietly, and Eiji stood up, throwing his sheets over him. And then they were back to the way they were before.

“Go to sleep, mafioso.” Eiji laughed, going to sit in his bed. He picked up his book, and that was comforting. 

“Very funny.” Ash rolled his eyes, pulling the sheets around himself. It was comforting to be covered now, in the dimly lit room with Eiji acting like nothing was wrong. It made him feel like he hadn’t messed everything up after all. “Goodnight, Eiji,” he said quietly, lying in a way where he could watch Eiji read. The boy flipped a page in his book, looking up and smiling at Ash with hair that was so gently tousled from their brief encounter. His face shone in the lamplight, and in that moment Ash felt that although he didn’t believe in God, there was an angel here before him.

“Goodnight, Ash Lynx.”


End file.
